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1. A father said to his son, "When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was [?] ." pomůcka: fireplace = krb
2. A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you." "Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once." "Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not [?] ." pomůcka: to complain = stěžovat si
3. Doctor: "Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water." Man: "Exactly what's my problem, doc?" Doctor: "You're not drinking enough [?] ."
4. Hello, doctor, was my operation a [?] ? Sorry mate, my name is Saint Peter . pomůcka: mate = přítel
5. Man (In barber's shop): "How much is a hair cut"? Barber: Five pounds. Man: How much is a shave? Barber: Two pounds. Man: Okay, shave my [?] . pomůcka: hair cut = stříhání
6. There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco, but they couldn't get in. The sign said " must be 18 to [?] " . pomůcka: sign = nápis
7. Little girl was asked by her teacher what her [?] does. She replied, "Whatever my Mom tells him to "
8. Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"  Son: "Who threw the eraser at the [?] ?" pomůcka : eraser = guma
9. Why did the elephant wear pink tennis shoes? I don't know. Because his yellow tennis shoes were too [?] . pomůcka: to wear = nosit
10. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog! Mmmm, when did this start? When I was a [?] .
11. Optician: You need glasses. Man: How do you know? Optician: I knew as soon as you walked in through the [?] .
pomůcka: glasses = brýle
12. Tell me, doctor, how long will I live? It's difficult to say, but if I were you, I wouldn't buy any long playing [?] .
13. Winston Churchill was at the party and he had had too much to drink. Woman: "Winston, you are drunk!" Churchill: "And you are ugly, but tomorrow I 'll be . pomůcka: drunk = opilý
14. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccesful man, there are [?] .
15. Why do birds fly south? Because it's too far to [?] .
16. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall ? To see what was on the other [?] . pomůcka: to climb = šplhat
17. Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Don't worry sir, there's a spider on your [?] . pomůcka: spider and fly = pavouk a moucha
18. First old man: "You want to go for a walk?" Second old man: "Isn't it windy?" First old man : "No, it's Thursday." Second old man: "Me, too. Let's go get a [?] ."  pomůcka: to go for a walk = jít na procházku
19. Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to keep it in? Certainly - how about a paper [?] ?
20. Mummy, I don't want to go to Australia. Shut up and keep [?] . pomůcka: Shut up = drž hubu, sklapni